#cw medical talk

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making this post as a reminder so when i get frustrated that i'm not healing fast enough, i can chill out. this is what i just had done:

Left endoscopic gastrocnemius lengthening

Left evan′s calcaneal osteotomy

Left medial midfoot capsulotomy

Left inter tarsal synovectomy

Left foot/ankle deltoid/spring ligament repair

Left posterior tibial tendon tenolysis

Left posterior tibial tendon debridement/advancement

Left foot flexor digtorum longus transfer

Left foot medial cuneiform osteotomy

Left foot tailors bunion correction with 5th metatarsal osteotomy

Left foot bunion correction with 1st metatarsal osteotomy

i am FEELING IT today and i'm trying to give myself grace rather than my default of being frustrated. at my body. for hurting. after 11 procedures. lmao. some of these are minor little procedures but my god when you put a bunch of minor things with quite a few major things it can snowball into a doozy real quick lmao. i guess i'm proud of myself. is all i'm trying to say. and i'm trying to remember to feel that way more often

[blipblepbloop]

ok i’m dying to know what ur realism gripe is about the body that you mentioned in the tags of your reblog of my post about it

BAHAHA ty for noticing my commentary hidden in the tags so i can make this rant post about it lmao

first off, im aware its a tv show and some things need to be dramatized or exaggerated for the purpose of achieving a certain effect in the show. especially in an episode like the body, a lot of choices went into very intentionally setting a tone for the episode. however, that being said-

towards the very beginning of the episode, buffy calls 911 and a couple of paramedics show up. they tell her that her MOM is DEAD, get another call, and UP AND LEAVE. and in real life they would absolutely NEVER FUCKING DO THAT and it drives me INSANE every time i rewatch it.

take this with a grain of salt because the extent of my medical knowledge is first aid and lifeguard training, but according to everything ive ever been taught about BASIC FIRST AID they absolutely should not have left her alone, because they weren't done treating every patient on that scene. buffy is quite VISIBLY in shock, which requires treatment just as much as a physical injury. yet all they do is tell her to sit down, ask her if there's anyone else coming, and then leave. like they don't even at least make sure she's sitting down or confirm in some way that somebody's coming before just leaving. maybe protocols and training with that sort of thing was different at the time that the ep came out, but i kind of doubt it. she could have fainted, she DOES throw up, and just...who actually thinks its a good idea to just leave someone whose mother just died and is clearly in shock completely alone?? certainly not trained medical professionals.

again, i could potentially be wrong about this, and im also fully aware it was for that dramatic intense effect the audience gets from her being left completely alone to deal with the fact her mom just died, but today at least that definitely is not how that would go down. at least one of the paramedics would have stayed behind and talked with her and made sure she was okay at least until giles got there. and it mostly just makes me upset for buffy because she should not have been treated like that lol.

[nightcxty]

✨NC's unhinged NYE post✨

this year was quite literally a joke. a circus, if you will.

honestly i kind of had this mindset where i was like. “im sure nothing more dramatic will happen this year!” because i finally got out of the system and sheltered housing (MESS) after 10 years and surely that was the end of 2023’s character development?????? god shook the spice shaker a little too much i fear. queue the rickroll—received a terrifying diagnose, was practically living in the ER, and 2 weeks later i had to go into surgery. post surgery and i received 2 more diagnoses that im still trying to wrap my head around and navigate but Oh Boy Why.

then i came back to this place. the cbp community. i left pretty abruptly for Reasons TM and told myself i wouldn’t return to a place that made me so unhappy. but luckily i evolved during my absence; i meditate (read: lobotomize myself) every day and gained perspective to what matters most. made the active decision to not let negativity affect my presence online and to just let things go, also by setting strict boundaries for myself.

^ first shot of jogny and val after reinstalling the game

art is my life, and i love contributing to a place where thats celebrated. it makes me so happy to come on here and see the things that people make. its literally one of the main things keeping me sane from OP recovery. im always amazed to see the amount of time and dedication that goes into character creation and world/story building and i just think that Humans Are Neat. look at us, manipulating worlds and stories through the power of brainrot! seeing vpers take beautiful shots and shape reality as they see fit, and writers using the power of language and words to set a stage and tell a story that makes you Feel. as much as i love to talk shit about the internet and heed the cautionary tales of modern digitalization, we are truly blessed (and maybe a little cursed at times) to be alive in this age where all of us get to connect with eachother no matter where we are, and celebrate eachothers art.

i also learned to always love my own creations first and foremost, without the constant need for an outside source of validation. to reach the stage in your own process of art making “HEY I LOVE THIS STORY I WROTE!!! DO YOU WANNA READ IT?????” "IM CLINICALLY INSANE!!! LOOK AT THIS SILLY AU IDEA I HAVE!!!" is so incredibly meaningful.

on to 2024 frenz!!!

[ goofy resolutions under the cut ]

resolutions;

- communism. (no seriously ive been putting off karl marx' writing for years and its time)

- finish long fics (honk honk vol. 10)

- get into blender

- do more art

- get motorcycle license

- finish music and get better at all aspects (compositioning, collaborating, recording, mixing, mastering)

- get my diploma

- get another tattoo

- travellllllllllllllll

[tapuhauko]

another lil update! I'll put the more in depth talk below the cut in case of triggers. Short of the story: I've been incredibly tired physically along with some back and knee pain & we just don't know what's going on with me right now health wise. It's starting to wear me down mentally now too because my brain doesn't deal well with uncertainties. I wanna be here / in servers and write, but it's just hard to focus / stay awake a lot when I do have down time rn The work at the zoo is helping me stay distracted, and I love being there, so that's good at least! More in depth (CW for hospital talk / medical talk / bloodwork talk):

sooo after I left off last time I went back that tuesday, they tested my blood and the CRP had lowered a teensy bit. They put me on a broader antibiotics for 3x a day for a week. 2 days after I had to come back for another bloodtest. CRP rose again. I had to continue the antibiotics ofc, so I did. Doc told me to get more broader bloodwork done, so I did. Then the week after I call for results. Nothing can be seen from the blood besides that the CRP and another infection rate had risen even more. So now I'm being sent to the hospital for a specialist to see if they can find the source of w/e is going on (my appointment is february 5th) I really miss writing and talking to y'all about hcs and plots and stuff, so I hope to be back on my feet soon ;a; thank you all for sticking around and waiting for me!! <3

[mauxanhduong]

alright besties wish me luck 🫡

[duckiez]

hey guys! it's teddy! i know it's been a while since i've been on last so let me just quickly explain what's been going on...

cw for illness, medical stuff, and death

in april, my father was hospitalized after a fall. he broke more than 10 ribs. he was doing okay but he wasn't getting enough oxygen due to the collapsed ribs so he had to be intubated and placed on a ventilator. this was one of the scariest days of my life.

while he was hospitalized, the doctors were noticing he started to have some issues with his heart. this was to be expected given the medications he was on and the stress of being on a ventilator for many weeks. then, in may, he coded for the first time. and again. and again. we were told to come to the hospital to discuss next steps, so of course we went. after a long night of touch and go and hospital transfers, my dad was able to stabilize. they put a pacemaker in. he was able to slowly start to come off ventilation as his ribs were healing and his lungs were able to fill up all the way.

in june, we were able to have conversations with him again and, despite being annoyed about being in the hospital, my dad was himself. he joked around with us and we chatted about everything we were up to and told him about the party we were planning for him for when he was discharged.

in july, my dad caught pneumonia. he was fighting it like he did everything else. however, his floor was shut down for visitors due to a covid outbreak. on the 17th, we received worrying calls from the nurses about my dad's state, telling us that they were doing what they could but if things got worse they might be able to let us in (despite the no visitors rule) to allow us to say goodbye. on the 18th, he was doing better. on the 19th, i received a call from my sister at almost 11 PM that our dad had passed away. nobody from the hospital called us that day to tell us he was doing poor again, nobody let us know. negligence allowed for my dad to pass all alone.

i am trying my best to deal with the immense grief i feel on top of the absolute anger i have toward the hospital. it's been really really really difficult.

that said though, i would like to slowly come back to this space. slowly come back to reading and sharing the works of my amazing mutuals and the people i follow. slowly come back to writing. i really do miss everyone a lot.

thank you for taking the time to read this, any part of it. i shared it all because it helps to talk about, and it helps to let everyone know where i'm coming from.

i love u all loads.

-teddy

[phyi]

spent most of the day applying to a medical study. mainly because my liver mass was unusual and some researchers from the college just want to talk to me about my symptoms. took me most of the day to fill out most of the paper work and never seen so many consent forms in my life.

[ghostly-alex]

I wake up really fast from anesthesia and don't have that "high af" period, I just wake up and I'm fine, like I was just sleeping naturally. When I had my knee surgery (which as a note for later was on the first day of the first covid lockdown in my country) my parents could wait in the hospital so right after the surgery, when the surgeon was still in the or, he called my parents to tell them how it went and said that when they were finishing I was starting to wake up. I remmember waking up when I was being wheeled to the recovery room and trying to cough the tube out of my throat. I was fully concious and even talked to the nurses right after they took the tube out to ask for water.

The first time I was put under general anesthesia I wasn't even taken to the recovery room because I woke and became fully concious during the trip to it, I was even joking with the nurses on the way to my room.

The only time I took a bit to wake up from anesthesia was after a colonocopy + endoscopy as I was given extra meds because I woke up in the middle of it. Like I was dreaming and woke up and moved (which caused the iv to move and gave me a bad bruise).

Next time I go under general anesthesia I might just give the anesthesiologist a warning because I remmember the face of the last one and oh boy they were not expecting that.

Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite  

[cherrisherry]

"Oh you just need to work out a little harder to lose weight" Me weaving my heart monitor through the neck of my shirt cus the doctor said my heart is leaking: "Do what now?"

[thanatosaria]

god going to the doctor always makes me so fucking nervous bc i'm too fucking scared of doctors but i've been off of my antidepressants for like a year now (started to run out and got too nervous to do anything about it bc neither the dr office nor pharmacy was getting back to me about my request for a refill) and it's starting to show i think bc i've been emotionally in shambles lmao!!!!!

anyway i started going to therapy again after like 6 years and getting a jumpstart back onto my antidepressants is like. her first line of action for me and im a people pleaser and dont want to disappoint her during my next session so :''') i am praying praying prayingggggg that this doctor i scheduled is nice and understanding of whats going on with me because all is not well in wafflesville rn

[crashthegates]

i feel weird thinking about myself as disabled, or even as a person with chronic pain. it's like yes, this is something i've dealt with my entire life, yes, this is something that prevents me from doing certain activities and i dread shit like going up stairs and yes i lose sleep over it and yes it impacts my day to day life and all that BUT since i'm going to get surgery at an unspecified point in the future and a fuck ton of physical therapy (and then won't be "deformed") AND since i'm not in pain all the time i automatically stop myself from using that language because i feel like i'm taking away from other disabled people, even though i KNOW that's stupid AND i would never ever ever tell another person that they aren't "disabled enough." so it's my brain being shit but i hatehatehathetahhtahteh it argihjbhroijskdfbnhrjsklf

[astrumavis]

Ramble, cw for vague medical talk

I wanted to contact my doctor to talk about some stuff going on with me for which she told me to do if nothing changed since the last time I saw her. I was busy and being forgetful, so my parent took it upon themselves to "arrange everything for me." Which I didn't want, to be clear. I very much wanted to do that myself. Now, without getting to properly sit down and talk to my doctor, I'm supposed to take these pills everyday for 3 months to see if they work.

I'm having a lot of second thoughts cuz I haven't gotten a single good reason why I should take them. I wanted to have an actual meeting with my doctor and talk to her about the how's and why's, but things happened and I didn't get that.

Cuz the thing is, is that I don't think? That my day to day life is bad because of the way my body works right now. I just don't know if it's gonna get bad or have negative consequences if I go on like this. Like, I'm perfectly fine the way it is right now, and the only reason she was contacted is cuz she told me to. From my perspective, the burden of proof (?) Is on her to explain to me why the hell I should even WANT to take this and fuck with how it is right now.

I think I'll try to arrange at least a talk over the phone. Unless she can give me valid reasons beyond the : Well it's just bad and it shouldn't be like that" I've been getting from other people, I'm not taking them. Thats that.

Ugh

[whump-in-the-closet]

weak in the knees for situations where a stoic whumpee allows someone to help them. they don't say a word of acceptance but they don't protest either. Too injured to say no and too tired to deny they need it. Just grudgingly letting a gentle hand guide them to a bed or to wrap a wound. Then a quiet, "thank you." in between sharp breathing as they try not to break down in front of someone else. Love love love shielded vulnerability

[nightcxty]

random 'i love my gyno i would die for him' moment after he told me 'i will make time for u whenever. please call me. i will reassure u and i will explain things to u'

and i didnt know how to handle it because ive never been taken seriously by a medical professional before so all i said was 'u taught me more biology than 4 years of high school' and 'have u considered doing ted talks in the bible belt' and he just sat there like.

im going to eat glass 2024 is off to a rocking start

[katmaibearfan]

okay, deleted the last post bc i misunderstood a test result and like two minutes after i posted, my doc commented on the test results online.

According to my doc, the results just mean no celiac! woo!

& this is why u shouldn't try to understand ur test results on ur own 😅

health update -- I'm getting tested for both pernicious anemia and celiac today 'cause we gotta figure out why the heck I've got a b12 deficiency. im hoping its pernicious anemia bc its way easier to treat, but given that my brother recently got a celiac diagnosis, im not exactly hopeful.

also the cardiology appt to try & figure out whatever the heck is going on with my heart rate was scheduled!! for march 31. so. that's a long way off.

[mauxanhduong]

hi besties i have risen ‼️ also they played newjeans for me in the OR so that was fun. and surreal